Monday, November 23, 2009

Listen Louder

from the moment i turn the dial
til the time i turn it off
what's exuding in between
is some mind blowing stuff

it's a rhapsody of tunage
unlike anything you've heard
that renders your ears powerless
unable to deter

from the first strum of the guitar
to the last wallop of the drum
from your first glimpse of lyric
to the last verse of the song

it will take you on a journey
deep into your soul
rattling away the negativeness
that forever takes its toll

there are songs about change
and songs about love
there are songs about closure
songs about rising above

it's about finding a better version of you
not caring what 'they' think
because 'they' can't hear you anyway
over the thunder that 'they' make.

the next time they talk and talk and talk
and try to one up you with their 'power'
turn up the music in your soul full blast
and force them to Listen Louder

Friday, August 28, 2009

Twitter = L♥VE

So I've discovered that Twitter is one of the best ways to stay on top of anything that you're interested in.

I love music ~ Twitter has #MusicMonday

I love fashion ~ Twitter has tons of fashionistas that post millions of links

I love celebs ~ Twitter has some doozies on there ... and some of my all-time faves, like Soleil Moon Frye ♥♥♥ (I grew up with Punky Brewster) and Dax Holt from TMZ.

Plus, Twitter is like instant gratification. Refresh has become my friend over the past couple of months.

If you'd like to follow me, my Twitter address is:

Take me as I am OR leave me the hell alone. Your choice. I will love you if you love me back :) I'm just that kind of girl.


Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Almost Like Drowning

heavily-weighted shoulders

tired eyes
darkness closing in
what is going on?

big wave
downward spiral
thunderous silence
flush it all away

where am i going to go?

bare walls
muddy floors
where is all the "stuff"?

peacefully quiet
completely still
it's almost like drowning

Sunday, June 21, 2009

100 Songs To Save Your Life

1 Blind Melon – No Rain
2 Bette Midler – The Rose
3 Tanya Tucker – Delta Dawn
4 Ramones – I Wanna Be Sedated
5 Bob Marley – Three Little Birds
6 Bob Marley – Redemption Song
7 Elton John – Circle of Life
8 Eminem – Stan
9 The Turtles – Happy Together
10 Cyndi Lauper – Girls Just Want to Have Fun
11 The Rolling Stones – (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction
12 Jefferson Airplane – White Rabbit
13 Nirvana – Sliver
14 John Lennon – Imagine
15 Katrina and the Waves – Walking on Sunshine
16 Eddie Rabbitt – I Love a Rainy Night
17 Eagles – Wasted Time
18 Metallica – One
19 The Doors – People Are Strange
20 Marilyn Monroe – Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend
21 Bob Dylan – Subterranean Homesick Blues
22 Pantera – Walk
23 Bobby McFerrin – Don't Worry Be Happy
24 Gavin DeGraw – I Don't Want to Be
25 Jimmy Eat World – Hear You Me
26 Death Cab for Cutie – I Will Follow You Into the Dark
27 Kenny Chesney – Back Where I Come From
28 Céline Dion – Calling you
29 The Guess Who – American Woman
30 Annie Soundtrack – Tommorow
31 Dixie Chicks – Some Days You Gotta Dance
32 Nirvana – Love Buzz
33 4 Non Blondes – Spaceman
34 Plain White T's – Hey There Delilah
35 Lynyrd Skynyrd – Sweet Home Alabama
36 Sinéad O'Connor – Nothing Compares 2 U
37 Pink Floyd – Wish You Were Here
38 Enrique Iglesias – Hero
39 The Replacements – Here Comes a Regular
40 Jo Dee Messina – Heads Carolina, Tails California
41 Natalie Merchant – Carnival
42 Harry McClintock – The Big Rock Candy Mountain
43 Tool – Sober
44 The Knack – My Sharona
45 Counting Crows – A Long December
46 Neil Young – Rockin' in the Free World
47 Johnny Cash – I've Been Everywhere
48 U2 – One
49 John Mayer – Waiting on the World to Change
50 Billy Currington – Good Directions
51 Sara Gazarek – You Are My Sunshine
52 R.E.M. – Losing My Religion
53 Johnny Cash – I Walk the Line
54 Live – Lightning Crashes
55 Chubby Checker – The Twist
56 Nirvana – Where Did You Sleep Last Night
57 U2 – With or Without You
58 Le Tigre – We Like the Cars That Go Boom
59 Led Zeppelin – Ten Years Gone
60 Tim McGraw – My Next Thirty Years
61 Ani DiFranco – Untouchable Face
62 Annie Soundtrack – It's a Hard Knock Life
63 LeAnn Rimes – Blue
64 Nirvana – Smells Like Teen Spirit
65 Nirvana – The Man Who Sold the World
66 Stevie Ray Vaughan – Cold Shot
67 Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers – Don't Come Around Here No More
68 Alison Krauss – Down To The River To Pray
69 Gillian Welch, Alison Krauss & Emmylou Harris – Didn't Leave Nobody But The Baby
70 Joan Jett and the Blackhearts – Bad Reputation
71 Mandy Moore – Wild Hope
72 Landon Pigg – Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop
73 Cat Stevens – Wild World
74 Edie Brickell and New Bohemians – What I Am
75 Drugstore – Baby Astrolab
76 Amos Lee – Bottom of the Barrel
77 Sheryl Crow – Soak Up the Sun
78 Howie Day – Perfect Time of Day
79 Lenka – Live Like You're Dying
80 The Weepies – World Spins Madly On
81 Bette Midler – When a Man Loves a Woman
82 The Smurfs – You're A Pink Toothbrush
83 Screeching Weasel – Cool Kids
84 Joe Cocker – With A Little Help From My Friends
85 Lou Reed – Walk on the Wild Side
86 Everclear – Summerland
87 Rihanna – Umbrella
88 Digable Planets – Rebirth of Slick (Cool Like Dat)
89 Deee-Lite – Groove Is in the Heart
90 Adele – Make You Feel My Love
91 Kerli – Butterfly Cry
92 Johnny Clegg and Savuka – Woman be My Country
93 Too $hort – The Ghetto
94 Bone Thugs-N-Harmony – Tha Crossroads
95 Otis Redding – (Sittin' on) The Dock of the Bay (take 1)
96 Kings of Leon – Closer
97 Peter, Paul & Mary – Puff The Magic Dragon
98 James Taylor – Fire and Rain
99 Mazzy Star – Blue Flower
100 Anna Nalick – Breathe (2 AM)

Check 'em out at:

These are in no particular order. Enjoy!


Wednesday, June 10, 2009

No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.

I was reminded the other day of one of my all-time favorite movies that really had a LARGE impact on my life. That movie is (drum roll please) ... Dead Poets Society!

I wrote poetry at the time and boy is this movie filled with some of the best. Plus there are some fabulous quotes as well.

Here are some of my faves:

"We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?"

"There's a time for daring and there's a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for."

McAllister: "Show me the heart unfettered by foolish dreams and I'll show you a happy man."
John Keating: "But only in their dreams can men be truly free. 'Twas always thus, and always thus will be."

"Excrement! That's what I think of Mr. J. Evans Pritchard! We're not laying pipe! We're talking about poetry. How can you describe poetry like American Bandstand? "I like Byron, I give him a 42 but I can't dance to it!""

"Now we all have a great need for acceptance, but you must trust that your beliefs are unique, your own, even though others may think them odd or unpopular, even though the herd may go "that's baaaaad." Robert Frost said, "Two roads diverged in the wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.""


"I went into the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life ... to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."

"When you read, don't just consider what the author thinks, consider what you think."

I'm really glad that I could share these with you. If you have not seen this movie, then I highly, highly recommend it. I mean, really. Go. Now. Yes, right now.

Dead Poets Society changed me deep in my soul. You see, if you've seen the movie, I was a lot like Todd Anderson ... and always wanted to be like Charlie Dalton or Neil Perry. I was quiet, reserved, shy, terrified of public speaking, reclusive. I didn't "suck the marrow out of life" ~ I "choked on the bone." The only way that I was really able to survive the whole high school experience was through my poetry.

I am different now. Still terrified of public speaking, but I'm not quiet, reserved, shy or reclusive anymore. I found strength within myself that I was never able to tap into, until after school. If any of you are experiencing anything like I was at that time, I suggest that you seriously watch this movie. Even though it won't fix things, I believe that it will make you feel better about yourself, about poetry and about life. If nothing else, you'll be able to admit that you've seen one of the best movies of all times!!!
Lovin' you guys, although you've all moved to the other site ( which I love, don't get me wrong ... I just miss you, that's all. I go to that site every single day. The site is awesome and helpful and absolutely amazing ... just different. I'm weird. I know. Still love you and miss you!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Candle In The Wind ...

Ever since I was a little girl, Marilyn Monroe has been one of my favorite actresses/singers of all times. For being such a beautiful face in the crowd, she had a rough life and in the end, she never received the kudos that I believe she should have. She was very smart (although none-too-many believed that). I thought I would share some of her quotes with you, so that maybe you could understand as well how wonderful she really was. She touched my heart in every movie she was in, every interview that she gave and every song that she sang.

"My illusions didn't have anything to do with being a fine actress. I knew how third rate I was. I could actually feel my lack of talent, as if it were cheap clothes I was wearing inside. But, my God, how I wanted to learn, to change, to improve!"

"In Hollywood, a girl's virtue is much less important than her hairdo. You're judged by how you look, not by what you are. Hollywood's a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for kiss, and fifty cents for your soul. I know, because I turned down the first offer often enough and held out for the fifty."

"People had a habit of looking at me as if I were some kind of mirror instead of a person. They didn't see me, they saw their own lewd thoughts, then they white-masked themselves by calling me the lewd one."

"I've often stood silent at a party for hours listening to my movie idols turn into dull and little people."

"I am involved in a freedom ride protesting the loss of the minority rights belonging to the few remaining earthbound stars. All we demanded was our right to twinkle."

"No one ever told me I was pretty when I was a little girl. All little girls should be told they're pretty, even if they aren't."

"I`ve never dropped anyone I believed in."

"I love a natural look in pictures. I like people with a feeling one way or another - it shows an inner life. I like to see that there`s something going on inside them."

"My problem is that I drive myself... I`m trying to become an artist, and to be true, and sometimes I feel I`m on the verge of craziness, I`m just trying to get the truest part of myself out, and it`s very hard. There are times when I think, `All I have to be is true`. But sometimes it doesn`t come out so easily. I always have this secret feeling that I`m really a fake or something, a phony."

And there you have it! Marilyn Monroe. Real. Envied. Alone. Scared. Strong. Sensitive. Compassionate. Soulful. Aware. Ingriguing.

I can't imagine what life would have been like for her. All that she wanted was to be loved. She got WAY MORE than she bargained for. Fame got in the way and destroyed her inner child, much to her chagrin. I wish that I could go back in time and give her a big giant hug and let her know that everything was going to be ok. Sometimes, that's all people really need ... a little support, a little confidence, a little love. I know I certainly do! Life is just too hard sometimes. It's nice to know that someone cares.


Sunday, May 24, 2009

I Wanna Be Sedated ...

Do you ever feel invisible? Like there is a whole lotta stuff going
on around you, but no one sees you or wants your input? I've been
struggling with that feeling for a few days now. Don't know why. No reason
... every reason? WTF is going on anyway?

I'm naturally a quite and shy girl. What has that ever gotten me? People that think that I'm stuck up. People treating me like I don't exist. People not understanding me. People that are nice to me one minute, then take advantage the next. It's really disappointing ... life ... sometimes. I just want to be included, even if I am on the quiet side. Being quiet and shy doesn't mean that I don't have feelings. In fact, I'm sooo introverted sometimes that I think I may have more feelings than most. Too much time to think and rethink things.

I want to leave you with a quote that is close to my heart, especially recently:

“I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it -- I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know -- but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.” ~ Virginia Satir


Thursday, May 14, 2009

I Love To Read This Gothic Poem Out Loud ...

The Hideous Existence of Barnaby Drudge

by Howard Camner

born with almost no head
no arms
no legs
no god to point a finger at
no fingers to point with
Barnaby Drudge is one for the books

virtually unemployable
dropped in a sawmill
raised by opossums
in his own private corner of Hades
he weaves his webs
hanging upside-down by his twisted soul
paralyzed by law
he is a blatant liar
promising to give his word
Swearing to take a vow
vowing to break his promise

Barnaby Drudge is one for the books
forced to extremes
drawn to headlights
rewriting history in his bedside journal
taking credit for every natural disaster
he crosses his black heart and then the highway
accusing himself of being no one

if he ever gets caught in your headlights
and there's no time to stop
do not be afraid

he'll never see his murderer
he sees only perimeters
he cannot see you

to Barnaby there is no substance
there is no matter
there is nothing
he sees only perimeters

and who could blame him for that?

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Some Days You Gotta Dance ...

I received this via E-mail today and wanted to share it with you ...

"I don't care if you lick windows,
take the special bus or occasionally pee on yourself.
You hang in there, sunshine - you're friggin' special.
Every sixty seconds you spend angry, upset or mad,
is a full minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Today's Message of the Day is:
Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly,
Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile..

Life may not be the party we hoped for,
but while we're here, we should dance.."

Sooooo true!! I hope it inspires you as well :)


Sunday, May 10, 2009

You Can Stand Under My Umbrella ...

I was thinking ... hmmmmmmm ... I haven't done a "quote post" in a little while, so here are some of my faves. All but one come from One Tree Hill ... but they are special ones that have deep meanings for me personally. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do :)

"Draw a crazy picture,
Write a nutty poem,
Sing a mumble-gumble song,
Whistle through your comb.
Do a loony-goony dance
'Cross the kitchen floor,
Put something silly in the world
That ain't been there before."
~ Shel Silverstein

"I want to draw something that means something to someone! You know, I want to draw blind faith, or a fading summer, or just a moment of clarity. It's like when you go and see a really great band for the first time and nobody is saying it but everybody is thinking it. We have something to believe in again. I want to draw that feeling... but I can't. And if I can't be great at it, then I don't want to ruin it. It's too important to me."
~ Peyton Sawyer

"You were wrong yesterday when you said the kids in the clubs were just there for decadence. I think it's more like romance and hope and inspiration and that feeling that you get when other human beings pick up basic instruments and make sense of your world. And the day that I think it's just about making money is gonna be the day that. I've betrayed everything I believe in about music and life and myself."
~ Peyton Sawyer

"Yeah, but there’s a great story behind it! Right before graduation, I went with some friends to this big outdoor music festival in Winston-Salem. It was in the middle of a field called The Meadow. Night comes,… this terrible thunderstorm rolls in. Thunder, lightening. None of the bands could play. Thirty thousand people, mud up to our knees… waiting it out. Praying for the storm to break. But it never did. Power’s lost,… there’s nothing but the sound of the rain. Then, out of the blackness,… Paul Westerberg steps into center stage with an acoustic guitar. And plays ‘Here Comes a Regular’. Thirty thousand people fall silent to hear that one… acoustic guitar. And the one voice that accompanied it. It was transcendent… standing there,… in the darkness, listening to that song with my best friends. I think that was the moment in my life where I felt most alive."
~ Ellie Harp


Wednesday, May 6, 2009

What SGP Means To Me ...

Supportive ~ we support SGP, SGP supports us, we support each other.
Optimism ~ belief that people and events are inherently good, so that most situations work out in the end for the best. Totally SoGoPro!
Uber-talented ~ because the word Uber is uber-funny :) and the SGP crew is ultra talented!
Touching the lives of us all, one post at a time.
Hardwork and honesty ~ couldn’t decide ~ both are totally appropriate.
Encouragement ~ they encourage us to read more, listen more and learn more.
Random Fridays in chat … love them!
Narrative ~ we get this through their blog … a step by step narrative of the beginnings of Southern Gothic Productions and its team.

Generosity ~ ‘nuff said!
Oneiric ~ (which means “pertaining to dream”) “the connection between dreams and films has been long established” … reminded me of Nick.
T-shirts ON SALE NOW!
Haikus, limericks and stream-of-conscience writings.
Inspiration … I mean, like, constantly!
Charisma ~ in their projects, in their fans and in the actors that they choose.

Pedestrian ~ the first of many films for SGP.
Rooftops that we scream from.
Oenophobia ~ none of that with this group (the fear or hatred of wine)
Determination ~ SoGoPro will be BIG … just you wait … it’s already begun!
Understanding of the industry and how it inherently works.
Candid blogs, vlogs and posts of all sorts.
Talent ~ 1. a special natural ability or aptitude, 2. a capacity for achievement or success, 3. a group of persons with special abilities. ~ yes, yes and yes!!!
Imagination ~ you need this in order to survive in the film industry ~ and SGP has enough to go around for everyone!
Onomatopoeia ~ seriously, there’s not many good words beginning with O … and this one is fun … like Southern Gothic.
Nurture ~ I chose this word because to do this in all respects is a wonderful thing … and SGP does!!!
Sharing in our lives and allowing us to share in theirs.


Friday, May 1, 2009

Oh ... I Heart Fridays ... And The Cure

I don't care if Monday's blue
Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too
Thursday I don't care about you
It's Friday I'm in love
Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday Wednesday break my heart
Thursday doesn't even start
It's Friday I'm in love

Saturday wait
And Sunday always comes too late
But Friday never hesitate...

I don't care if Monday's black
Tuesday Wednesday heart attack
Thursday never looking back
It's Friday I'm in love

Monday you can hold your head
Tuesday Wednesday stay in bed
Or Thursday watch the walls instead
It's Friday I'm in love

Saturday wait
And Sunday always comes too late
But Friday never hesitate...

Dressed up to the eyes
It's a wonderful surprise
To see your shoes and your spirits rise
Throwing out your frown
And just smiling at the sound
And as sleek as a shriek
Spinning round and round
Always take a big bite
It's such a gorgeous sight
To see you eat in the middle of the night
You can never get enough
Enough of this stuff
It's Friday
I'm in love

I hope ya'll have a super weekend! I'm sure that I'll talk to some of you, but for the others ... I still have love for ya :)



Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing ... In Perfect Harmony

"Walk in the rain, jump in mud puddles, collect rocks, rainbows and roses, smell flowers, blow bubbles, stop along the way, build sandcastles, say hello to everyone, go barefoot, go on adventures, act silly, fly kites, have a merry heart, talk with animals, sing in the shower, read childrens' books, take bubble baths, get new sneakers, hold hands and hug and kiss, dance, laugh and cry for the health of it, wonder and wander around, feel happy and precious and innocent, feel scared, feel sad, feel mad, give up worry and guilt and shame, say yes, say no, say the magic words, ask lots of questions, ride bicycles, draw and paint, see things differently, fall down and get up again, look at the sky, watch the sun rise and sun set, watch clouds and name their shapes, watch the moon and stars come out, trust the universe, stay up late, climb trees, daydream, do nothing and do it very well, learn new stuff, be excited about everything, be a clown, enjoy having a body, listen to music, find out how things work, make up new rules, tell stories, save the world, make friends with the other kids on the block, and do anything else that brings more happiness, celebration, health, love, joy, creativity, pleasure, abundance, grace, self-esteem, courage, balance, spontaneity, passion, beauty, peace, relaxation, communication and life energy to ... all living beings on this planet."
~ Bruce Williamson

I totally love this quote and wanted to share. It's very encouraging and helped me with my own outlooks/perspectives on life.


Monday, April 27, 2009

Feel Good Inc ...

This past Saturday was such a wonderful day. I did something that I haven't done in years ~ slept til noon. OMG! I must've needed it. My husband went fishing, so I had all the opportunity in the world to do whatever I wanted ... my mind and body chose sleep. I finally took a picture of myself with my SoGoPro t-shirt on, but haven't had the chance to upload the picture to Flickr. I'm having a little bit of a hard time getting passed the fact that I don't like to see pictures of myself (years of body image issues). I promise I will upload them in the next couple of days. If not, harass me about it. Sometimes all I need is a gentle push in the right direction :)

On Sunday, I drove about 40 miles away to watch my friends race motocross. It is something that I absolutely love to do. The weather held out for us ... no rain, no sun, no wind ~ just a little chilly and overcast ~ perfect weather for some racing. I wore my SGP shirt and told tons of people about it! Hopefully, that will result in more followers and more donations!


Thursday, April 23, 2009

This Bibis Song Is Amazing ...

Thank you Southern Gothic Productions for introducing me to (yet again) something new. I am totally in love with Bibis Ellison's music. I found this song ... made me cry ... thought I'd share at least the lyrics with you. She is an extraordinary performer ... really REAL! I can relate to almost every song that I've heard in one way or another, whether it's the lyrics, a familiar riff or just a common feeling. You should totally check her out when you can! How about RIGHT NOW?!?!?!?!

Tonight, Little Girl

The world hates you tonight, little girl
And you've not a tear to cry
Your secret hideaway is gone
And your jewelry box is empty

Your toys are rusted from the rain
And your dollies all are broken
Your eyes are raw and once there was
Baby's schoolyard is empty

They tell me to have faith
But it's hard when there's nothing I even believe
And I'm waiting for signals
The ones that you promised
But it's only my eyes that will bleed

Why didn't the wind blow you my way?
Why didn't the trees cradle you for me?
And keep you living for me?

The world hates you tonight, little girl
And it's true you're being selfish
So keep the mommas warm and tight
You can unravel later

Keep the lipstick battle down
She is grieving so it seems
And when you see her keep in mind
That blood stains pretty badly

They tell me to have faith
But it's hard when there's nothing I even believe
And I'm waiting for signals
The ones that you promised
But it's only my eyes that will bleed

Why didn't the wind blow you my way?
Why didn't the trees cradle you for me?
And keep you living for me?

The world hates you tonight, little girl
Guess now you can't have secrets
He's watching, waiting silently
He believed in what he is now

So listen closely to the wind
He'll be speaking very sweetly
Hold the red nice and tight
You are on your own now

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Imagine ...

I've been thinking a lot about this song, so I just had to share. When my good friend passed away in a motorcycle accident a couple of years ago, I went and looked at his myspace account. I'm not a myspace type of person so I hadn't seen his profile. When I opened it, I found a collage of pictures that he had put together on a OneTrueMedia player to this song. The pictures were all of his friends and things that he liked to do. He died doing something that he loved to do. That's what I want to do ... I mean, why not?

Anyway ... ladies and gentlemen ... John Lennon! (*applause* ... then a hush came over the crowd as they listened intently)

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

You may say
I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Thank you for letting me share! Ya know, now that I think about it, this song reminds me of Southern Gothic Productions too! No wonder I've been thinking about this song so much. Makes me think of my friends :)


Friday, April 17, 2009

Walking On Sunshine ...

I must say that I am so glad that it's Friday today. It's the end of a loooooong couple of weeks (at work). In my last post, I had mentioned that I believe that Happiness Breeds Happiness ... that still rings true. I'm doing a couple of things in the next few days that I've never done before, so I'm totally excited!

First, I'm going to watch Supercross at Qwest Field in Seattle for the first time. I've watched it on tv for years, but this year ... I am so sick of television that I thought I would actually GO this time instead. Can't beat fifteen bucks to watch motorcycle racing all day long.

I can't wait to wear my SoGoPro t-shirt there. I'll try my best to have someone get a picture of it! *on a side note ... my husband cannot believe that I would want to wear an autographed shirt at all ... he doesn't understand the urge that we all have to share SGP with the world.*

The second thing that I'm doing that is new is going to Vancouver, BC *Canada*. I've been to Victoria, BC once before (I won a trip off of the radio ... that's another story that I'll tell you at a later date). I really loved Victoria when I was there. I couldn't believe how much cleaner it was than in America. I hope Vancouver is the same!

I'll post again and let ya'll know how it went! Thank you guys for your continued support ... makes me so happy that I could just cry ... in the good way :) Ali and Megan Mary ~ thank you for taking good care of my feelings! You give me encouragement and the "want" to do better, live better and be better ~ I am so lucky to have met you :)


Monday, April 13, 2009

I'm Only Happy When It Rains ...

If that's the case, it must rain all but a few days here in Washington ... yep, that's pretty accurate!

I've (re)discovered that happiness breeds happiness. As some of you know, I've had a rough few weeks, but with my last post, I decided to simply (and not so simply) change my attitude to look for and appreciate the good things in my life.

I wanted to share with you the "goodness" that has followed my change in attitude.

First, my husband spent two days preparing all the fixins for homemade navy bean soup. I've never had that kind of soup before ... and I was oh-so-pleasantly surprised! It was soooo tasty.

Second, I received my autographed SoGoPro t-shirt in the mail today, hand-signed by the lovely and talented Hilarie Burton. Please help them out and order one or two (or more) from them at: You will be so happy that you did! They are offering the autographed t-shirts for a LIMITED time only ... and with these rough economic times, they could really use the extra funding ... so Go ... Now ... and get one for yourself and everybody that you know!

Third (oh yeah, so excited that I forgot what I was talking about!), I wanted to thank all of you (Kim, Becca, Megan Mary, Missa and others) for giving me support and friendship and good feelings about myself, when I truly did not have it. An extra special, from the bottom of my heart, soulful THANK YOU to Ali, who has "had my back" since day 1 and always makes me feel special and included! I hope that if they (or any of my friends at SGP) are going through a rough patch, that I can be there for them the same way with inspiring words and *hugz*!


Sunday, April 12, 2009

Glitter In The Air

So, for a couple of weeks now, I seriously haven't been myself. I'm usually a happy-go-lucky girl with a smile always on my face. Lately, I've been quite a downer. No more. I'm finished with that. What changed? Well, I was listening to some of my old records yesterday and came across Nena's '99 Luftballons'. I started to play it and I could feel tons of weight come off of my shoulders. I don't know what it is about listening to a song that is in a foreign language. I think it's that you feel the music and the words, instead of just listening to them ... like I imagine opera to be.

I totally feel like throwing a bunch of glitter confetti up in the air and dancing around like a little girl on her birthday ... center stage ... belle of the ball.

I forget about the little things that make me truly happy. I figured that I would list them here, so that I could go back and remind myself of what really matters in this world.

Kittens, vinyl records, a pair of perfect-fitting and worn in jeans, shopping at second-hand stores, hats, snuggly blankets, wood heat and hot cocoa on a cold winter's day, standing/dancing in the rain, my cat Pinkus and my dog Ellie, my autographed picture of Hilarie Burton that I bought off of Ebay (that is probably a total fake, but I love the idea of it), One Tree Hill, my Marilyn Monroe collection, butterfly-collared polyester shirts, comfy slippers, the art of Mark Ryden and music, music, music. Music is a cure all for me! In fact, I've added my fourth playlist on ... if you want to check them out, my site is: I hope that maybe it can be a cure all for you too, if you're feeling down or sad or just out-of-sorts.

Anyhoo ~ feeling so much better and wouldn't have if not for music and my friends on Southern Gothic's site ( Check them out too ... you'll be awfully glad that you did!


Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Who Knows ...

"I think there's something more, life's worth living for
Who knows what could happen.
Do what you do, just keep on laughing
One thing's true, there's always a brand new day
Who knows what could happen.
Do what you do, just keep on laughing
One thing's true, there's always a brand new day
I'm gonna live today like it's my last day."

Everytime I hear these lyrics, I think Yeah, I'm
totally gonna do that ... and I never do. I think
it's time to get on the ball and Just Do It!

I feel like I've been working so hard for all of
these years and for what? I'm stuck paying
all of the bills, doing all of the housework and
taking care of every little thing in my life ...
while others just sit around and reap the
benefits. One day, I'll be strong enough to
speak up about it ... and when I do, it's going
to be like a waterfall of emotions!

Thank goodness I have strength and support
at Southern Gothic Productions. I feel included
and stable and well, all over the place. There
are so many ideas floating around to ponder.
Lovin' it!


Friday, March 27, 2009

With Arms Outstretched ...

"You have been my friend.
That in itself is a tremendous thing.
I wove my webs for you because I liked you.
After all, what’s a life, anyway?
We’re born, we live a little while, we die.
A spider’s life can’t help being something of a mess,
with all this trapping and eating flies.
By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle.
Heaven knows anyone’s life can stand a little of that."
~ Charlotte, “Charlotte’s Web”

You guys are my web, my support, my friends. We all have our ups and downs, and if you have a downer (which I hope you don't), I will be there to support you, as you have with me.

I appreciate you!


Thursday, March 26, 2009

sadness ... happiness

Sitting at home crying ...
for no reason in particular, just crying.
I guess it's my way of getting out my
frustrations and aggrevations.
I'm sure that I think more than I should
to be completely healthy.
My mind runs free in the shadows -
frolicking in the darkness of my being.
I live in my own world -
I'm best at pursuing happiness there.
I wish that I could stay there when times
get rough, but my hopes are dashed by reality.
My happiness comes crashing down around me
like a blanket of flames breathing the oxygen of my soul ...
draining me of all my worth and ambitions -
bringing me back to living every hour
like it's my first ...
so naive and innocent about everything.
Life, love and the pursuit of happiness
are the hardest things for me to find in
this place called reality-
that's why I dream and go to that other world -
There is the place where I'm the leader,
the boss, the goddess, the actress and the musician
that I long to be here.


Friday, March 20, 2009

Hmmmm ... who should play Miss Mills?

Well it has to be somebody with classic beauty, somebody charismatic, somebody that can draw your eyes to her when she walks in the room ... hmmmmmm.

It should be someone that commands attention, but not in the annoying over-bearing way. I feel that it should be a dark-haired gal (I guess they DO have wigs available in the movies).

1. Eliza Dushku

2. Zooey Deschanel

3. Sorry MM, gotta agree with you on Mary Elizabeth Winstead.

Oops ... not supposed to say sorry anymore (unless I've hurt somebody's feelings) ... old habits die hard Ali ... but not in the Bruce Willis way :)

Anyhoo ~ I think this is my list for Miss Mona Mills. If I think of any others, I will surely let y'all know ...

Til next time.


Wouldn't It Be Lover-ly ... to be Miss Hepburn

So today, all that I can think about is Audrey Hepburn and how wonderfully talented and beautiful she is. She definitely has that 'classic' style that will live on forever. Beautiful women will always be compared to her ...

"My look is attainable. Women can look like Audrey Hepburn by flipping out their hair, buying the large sunglasses, and the little sleeveless dresses."

The first time that I saw her was back in high school. For most of you, that was just a year or two ago (or you're still in high school). For me, that was (cough) 15 years ago. I was in AP English and we were watching Pygmalion (My Fair Lady's original name). I was completely entranced by her grace and glamour ... I wanted to BE her!

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”

Even as a dirty little urchin at the beginning of the movie ... she was amazing.

“People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.”

Besides being fantastically elegant, she was very passionate about charities and helping others. I mean, she worked with UNICEF for over 40 years, even receiving the Presidential Medal of Freedom for her efforts.

“Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm, as you get older, remember you have another hand: The first is to help yourself, the second is to help others.”

Come to find out ... we're more alike than I realized:
"You can even say that I hated myself at certain periods. I was too fat, or maybe too tall, or maybe just plain too ugly... you can say my definiteness stems from underlying feelings of insecurity and inferiority. I couldn't conquer these feelings by acting indecisive. I found the only way to get the better of them was by adopting a forceful, concentrated drive."

I really wish that there were more actresses like her ... people in general for that matter. She was, and still is, my favorite! I will leave you with one more of her thoughts:

“I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.”


Thursday, March 19, 2009

Art Garfunkel is a genius ...

Yes ... I love Paul Simon too, but one song that makes me happy whenever I'm feeling blue is 'The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy)'. If you've heard it, then you know ...

For those of you who may not have heard it ~ first, you should youtube it right now ... my blog can wait... second, I placed the lyrics below so you could at least experience its brilliance.

Slow down, you move too fast
You got to make the morning last
Just kicking down the cobble stones
Looking for fun and feelin' groovy.
Hello lamppost,
What cha knowing?
I've come to watch your flowers growing.
Ain't cha got no rhymes for me?
Doot-in' doo-doo,
Feelin' groovy.
Got no deeds to do,
No promises to keep.
I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep.
Let the morning time drop all its petals on me.
Life, I love you,
All is groovy.
~ Art Garfunkel

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Live and Live Well ...

There are a lot of people out there having a rough time. I hope that you read this and feel a bit better ... I know I did!

Live. And Live Well. BREATHE. Breathe in and Breathe deeply. Be PRESENT. Do not be past. Do not be future. Be now. On a crystal clear, breezy 70 degree day, roll down the windows and FEEL the wind against your skin. Feel the warmth of the sun. If you run, then allow those first few breaths on a cool Autumn day to FREEZE your lungs and do not just be alarmed, be ALIVE. LISTEN to your favorite music or any music for that matter. Get knee-deep in a novel and LOSE track of time. If you bike, pedal HARD… and if you crash, then crash well. Feel the SATISFACTION of a job well done, a paper well-written, a project thoroughly completed, a play well-performed. If you must wipe the snot from your 3-year old's nose, don't be disgusted if the Kleenex didn't catch it all… because soon he'll be wiping his own. If you've recently experienced loss, then GRIEVE. And Grieve well. At the table with friends and family, LAUGH. If you're eating and laughing at the same time, then might as well laugh until you cough up food. And if you eat, then SMELL. The aromas are not impediments to your day. Steak on the grill, coffee beans freshly ground, cookies in the oven. And TASTE. Taste every ounce of flavor. Taste every ounce of friendship. Taste every ounce of Life. Because if you don't have life ... what have you got?


Tuesday, March 17, 2009

One Hard Look

Upon reading all of the wonderful limmericks at, I remembered a poem that I read a really long time ago ... and it stuck with me for some reason. I think it's because it's quirky and rythmic and I think I could dance to it ... I give it a "10"!

"Small gnats that fly
In hot July
And lodge in sleeping ears
Can rouse therein
A trumpet’s din
With Day of Judgement fears.

Small mice at night
Can wake more fright
Than lions at midday;
A straw will crack
The camel’s back,
There is no easier way.

One smile relieves
A heart that grieves
Though deadly sad it be,
And one hard look
Can close the book
That lovers love to see."

~ Robert Graves

(There is a different version of this poem, but this one is my favorite.)



Thursday, March 12, 2009

Thoughts and Dreams ...

"The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it ... because it's only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die ... but things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on."

If you haven't checked out Southern Gothic Productions, please do. (

They're really doing it guys ~ it's no longer a thought or a dream ... it's going to be a legend ... you just wait and see!


Monday, March 9, 2009

Just Another Manic Monday ...

I survived birthday weekend unscathed! YAY!

So, I wanted to share with you the song that I am totally loving right now. It is "Tangled Up In Blue" by Ani DiFranco. It is a brilliant remake of the Bob Dylan classic. Her raw, passionate voice is a perfect match for this song. If you haven't heard it, I believe that it's in my library. I hope that this address will get you at least to my profile, so that you can access my library. I'm not real computer savvy, so we'll see :)

Another song that I'm loving is "Spaceman" by 4 Non Blondes (I don't think it's in my library yet, but you should check it out). I had a friend back in the day that was going through some real serious health issues (AIDS is so devastating you guys, so please, support your local AIDS foundation. They really need your help and you get the opportunity to meet some of the most selfless, honest people around!). He listened to this song everyday. Somehow, it always made him feel better ... and listening to it today reminds me of nothing but good times with him. His eyes were so dark and his skin was so pale, but when he heard this song (or watched That 70's Show), his eyes lit up and he smiled so big ... I really miss him a whole bunch ... everyday! He was the reason that I became involved with charities in the first place. (I'm getting teary ... sorry!)

Anyway, I wanted to share these two songs with anybody who wants to listen. I think they're fabulous songs and I hope you end up feeling the same! Take care you guys!


On a side note, I heard the song "Thank You" from Dido this weekend. It instantly made me think of Hilarie Burton and her vlog about the upcoming changes on One Tree Hill ... although I believe that the "best days" of her life are still ahead of her! Sometimes, a person will touch your heart in the midst of doing something very painful (or very freeing) ... in this case, a very intimate and personal vlog, and you remember it always. I don't think I'll ever forget the sound of Hilarie's voice in that vlog. She has incredible composure ...

Saturday, March 7, 2009

It's My Party ...

Just a quick note to let my friends know that I'm totally feeling the love today! You all have made me feel so special ... so THANK YOU!

The thing that I love about birthdays is that, once a year, my friends will make sure to let me know that they love me and are thinking about me, even if it's simply texting me a smiley face ... some I see a few times a week, others maybe once a month. This day and age, it's so easy to feel lonely and alone ~ and to take for granted all the times that your friends and family make you laugh 'til you have tears streaming down your cheeks. There's nothing better than that!!! Those are healing tears :)

Then, there's my SGP friends. It's hard to believe that an online community could be so caring and so thoughtful and so humble. Everybody that I've met in the last few weeks are just outstanding individuals ... you are truly great and I appreciate you! Thank you all for introducing me to new things ... the music, the authors, the feelings of overwhelming warmth ...

I could go on and on about how happy that I feel! I'll spare you my novel of praise and delight :)

Smiles (barely containable),

Thursday, March 5, 2009

I heart SGP

My only follower that does not follow Southern Gothic Productions is Cory ... so I'm calling you out :)

Let me tell you a little about SGP. I think (know) that you will love them and want to follow them on their journey as well ... maybe even get your friends to follow too!

They are a small production company from Wilmington, NC formed by the wonderful and talented team of Hilarie Burton and Kelly Tenney. They specialize in ... surprise ... Southern Gothic. If you're not familiar with Southern Gothic ... it uses very intense, sometimes deeply flawed characters to explore social aspects (mostly of the unpleasant variety) of the South. Carson McCullers, Flannery O'Connor and William Faulkner are excellent examples of this type of genre. You should also check out Nicholas Gray. His works include The Devil's Greatest Wile, The Dying Words Of Edison Strange, Population 8 and Pedestrian (which is currently being produced by SGP).

They are all gifted, artistic, brilliant and surprisingly humble. Everytime they post, you learn something about the project, something about them ... and something about yourself. At least, that has been my experience. I encourage you to check them out. They are "the little engine that could" that will continue to grow and grow, all the while allowing us to ride along on their journey with them. They are FABULOUS!!!

Thank you for reading ... and check them out!!!


My puppy Elsinor (Ellie) loves SGP too!!!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Due to lack of interest ... my birthday has been cancelled :)

So, my birthday is coming up in a couple of days. I figured, to celebrate, I would post some of my favorite music quotes of all times ... since music makes me the happiest girl in town. Now to clarify, these are quotes about music, not quotes from songs or anything ... but beautiful just the same. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence. ~ Leopold Stokowski
Music is what feelings sound like. ~ Author Unknown
If I were to begin life again, I would devote it to music. It is the only cheap and unpunished rapture upon earth. ~ Sydney Smith
If this word "music" is sacred and reserved for eighteenth and nineteenth century instruments, we can substitute a more meaningful term: organization of sound. ~ John Cage
The pause is as important as the note. ~ Truman Fisher
Music produces a kind of pleasure which human nature cannot do without. ~ Confucius
The discovery of song and the creation of musical instruments both owed their origin to a human impulse which lies much deeper than conscious intention: the need for rhythm in life… the need is a deep one, transcending thought, and disregarded at our peril. ~ Richard Baker
An artist, in giving a concert, should not demand an entrance fee but should ask the public to pay, just before leaving as much as they like. From the sum he would be able to judge what the world thinks of him - and we would have fewer mediocre concerts. ~ Kit Coleman
Music is moonlight in the gloomy night of life. ~ Jean Paul Richter
Music is a friend of labor for it lightens the task by refreshing the nerves and spirit of the worker. ~ William Green
I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else. ~ Lily Tomlin
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music. ~ Angela Monet
Music is enough for a lifetime, but a lifetime is not enough for music. ~ Sergei Rachmaninov
To stop the flow of music would be like the stopping of time itself, incredible and inconceivable. ~ Aaron Copland
Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought. ~ E. Y. Harburg
If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away. ~ Henry David Thoreau
I have my own particular sorrows, loves, delights; and you have yours. But sorrow, gladness, yearning, hope, love, belong to all of us, in all times and in all places. Music is the only means whereby we feel these emotions in their universality. ~ H.A. Overstreet

Alrighty, that's the end! Thank you Kelly, Megs, Missa and Cory for being my friend and following me on my journey, as I follow you on yours. You guys are so talented and so full of spirit ... where would I be without you? Still here, I guess, but feeling a little more lonely :)


Wednesday, February 25, 2009

My Songs To Live And Die By

So, I've been reading over all of these Top 10 song lists and have seen some great choices ... Hilarie with her Ben Kweller, James with his Ray LaMontagne, Kelly bringing SexyBack, Nick rockin' the Pink Floyd (one of my favorite bands of all times) and Megs with her (our) Ryan Adams. I figured I'd throw in my 2 cents and see what ya'll think.

1- Ani DiFranco ~ Untouchable Face (this song is raw and real and effective - this chick is so talented that it scares me a little)
2- Screeching Weasel ~ Cool Kids (all time favorite fun, get happy song of mine)
3- Mazzy Star ~ Blue Light (completely mellow and heart-felt - Hope Sandoval, the lead singer, is incredible ... and I love tambourines)
4- dada ~ Dizz Knee Land (ok, for those of you who have never heard this song ... please do ... it reminds me of being a rebellious little imp ~ rebelling against THE MAN)
5- NoFx ~ Soul Doubt (this song has gotten me through a lot of ups and downs in my life -> and many long road trips)
6- Dierks Bentley ~ Long Trip Alone (what can I say, his voice is sexy as hell ... I mean wow ... )
7- Juliana Hatfield ~ Live On Tomorrow (she has the voice of an angel. It's funny too because a long time ago, there was a tv show called My So-Called Life ... and Juliana played an angel in one episode ... and it made me cry because her voice has so much feeling and so much passion ... I can't even imagine a person not being affected by it)
8- Dead Milkmen ~ (it's a toss-up between Bitchin' Camero and Punk Rock Girl -> need I say more?)
9- Johnny Clegg & Savuka ~ Woman Be My Country (This band is very interesting. The lead singer is English and the rest of the band is South African ... which makes for an eclectic mix, that's for sure. This song is flat-out Beautiful!)

For #10, I couldn't decide between 3 different songs (and they are extremely different from each other ... which furthered my indecisiveness). They are:

The Ramones ~ I Wanna Be Sedated (classic, happy, get-up-and-do-something)
CKY ~ Escape From Hellview (hard-hitting, raw, love it)
Marilyn Monroe ~ Two Little Girls From LittleRock (what can I say ... it's Ms. Monroe!)

You can see my dilema (if you know all three songs) :P
I would be very curious to see what you may think ... if you've heard them ... if you like them ... if you hate them.


Friday, February 20, 2009


Remember the day I borrowed your brand new car and dented it?
I thought you'd kill me, but you didn't.
And remember the time I dragged you to the beach and you said it would rain and it did?
I thought you'd say "I told you so.", but you didn't.
Do you remember the time I flirted with all those guys just to make you jealous and you were?
I thought you'd leave me, but you didn't.
Do you remember the time I spilled strawberry pie all over your car rug?
I thought you'd hit me, but you didn't.
And remember the time I forgot to tell you the dance was formal and you showed up in jeans?
I thought you'd drop me, but you didn't.
Yes, there were lots of things you didn't do - but you put up with me and you loved me and you protected me.
There were lots of things I wanted to make up to you when you returned home from Iraq,
But you didn't.

My friend shared this poem with me several years ago and I think about it from time to time. It's one of those pieces of art that touched me in a part of my heart that doesn't get touched very often, but when it does ... oh my goodness ... it's either laughter or tears or both ... in this case, tears. Like the song Hey There Delilah ... it was the song that I was listening to when I found out one of my best friends died in a motorcycle accident ... I cry every time.

Sorry that I'm being a downer right now ... I've been having an "off" day all day long. Just one of those days I guess. I promise that I'll be a lot happier in my next post. In fact, I'll end with a joke (because laughter and music are soul-menders):

Spent Paycheck
Wife: Okay, today's Friday. Where's your pay envelope?
Man: I already spent all my pay. I bought something for the house.
Wife: What? What could you buy for the house that cost $480?
Man: Eight rounds of drinks.

Ok, not that funny ...


Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Why Cannonball?

So ... hey everybody! This is my first blog and I don't really know what I'm doing. I will tell you that I chose the title Cannonball because I feel like I'm taking a giant leap into shallow waters ... and if I'm gonna leap, why not cannonball right?

I suppose I should also tell you some grand piece of information about myself, but there is nothing too grand. I love music with all of my soul. I love fashion. I love my large-and-in-charge big ole' black cat Pinkus. I love finding the perfect pair of jeans on the first try. I love poetry, quotes and sayings. I love the art of Mark Ryden. I love the tv show One Tree Hill. I love to think that my life has its own soundtrack and every day presents a new set of songs to jive to. I love the rain ~ small tiny misty rain, big fat plops of rain, heavy down-pours with so many drops of rain that you're completely soaked in 10 seconds! Crazy? A definate maybe :)

I don't like liars. I don't like people that breathe right in my face ~ even if they have wonderfully minty breath. I don't like eating chicken on the bone ... or shrimp that still have the shell on ... those little legs and those eyes ... it makes me so sad! I don't like sitting still for very long. I don't like headaches, but I get them frequently. I don't like 90 degree whether, unless I'm in Arizona, where it's dry ~ it's much too humid in Washington to like that kind of heat!

There's plenty more ... I'm sure that I could go on and on and on ... but I'll stop for now. I hope anyone that reads this gets at least a little chuckle, because laughter every day is a necessity! Where would we be without it?